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Wheel of Death

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The Eliminator

Schleprock

Wheel of Death

UNC's Terminator Bright Spot

The Tar Heel defense has been a bright spot, only giving up 14.6 points per game, good for first in the conference. The Heels are also only giving up 251.2 yards per game even though they've surrendered 300+ rushing yards to the Ramblin' Wreck. Quite an impressive feat, unless the it just means the entire ACC is filled with a bunch of slaps who play defense like the Big XII.

With that said, during the show prep I was looking over the ACC's defensive statistics and did notice that for all the woes on offense the Heels have popped up quite prevelantly on the defensive sheets:

#1 in Pass Defense and Pass Defense Efficiency
#2 in Sacks (a big change from just a season ago)
#3 in Rush Defense

Sure its early but after getting our brains beat in by Al Groh, his 3-4 defense and his Michael Myers-esque relentless will to stay employed this is our lone bright spot.

On the individual note the Heels have the current front runner for the ACC Defensive Player of the year and as it stands it isn't Deunta Williams, Bruce Carter, Marvin Austin or Quan Sturdivant. No folks its sophomore Robert Quinn.

Quinn is a beast, he's a certified cyborg according to Doc Walker and thus will probably be using lasers to destroy quarterbacks for just one more season in Chapel Hill. The sophomore is first in the conference in tackles for loss with 9.5 and second in sacks with 6 for the season. To put that in perspective the Heels entire defensive line only amassed 11 sacks for the entire 2008 season.

With Georgia Southern on tap get ready, word is that Quinn normally drinks Eagle blood mixed with concrete to get ready for games.

Whoopsie Daisies

Dez Bryant the electric return man for the Okie State Cowboys has been ruled ineligible by the NCAA. He apparently had a relationship with a former NFL player that he failed to tell the NCAA about. How does this relate to Mass from Miami?

Gunter Brewer the Cowboys' esteemed wide receiver coach and one of the two heads that makes their spread attack work was my recruiting coach from UNC so eat that one. Another one of Brew's position guys gets hit hard, Adarious Bowman was another one who had a little trouble. We'll see how this works out with Mike "I'm 40" Gundy working to make everything ok.

In less than related news and more ACC pertinent T.K. Wetherell the "King of Smoothing"

released a statement about how they would handle the Bowden situation this season.

The ACC does some Bowl Game Re-Orderization

North Carolina at least is flirting with the Renner idea. My only word of advice as a former Tar Heel is if we want to sniff a bowl game or have a shot at that elusive Coastal we had better stick with Yates. Putting a wet behind the ears, 195 lb true freshman in the game behind an offensive line held together with bubble gum, pipe cleaners and scotch tape is a recipe for him to get the Taylor Potts treatment early.



Please just be propaganda and fodder for the morons on message boards who get wet with every word.

Look for the weekly picks and the podcast coming out soon suckas.

Even ESPN Stops for Bobby Bowden

Hey folks we're all semi-riveted by the Seminoles information; the way we get our jollies off watching paint dry. Shaun King reported last night that Bowden wouldn't be asked to step down but there's been so much swirling around this assbackward situation that no one knows what's what. Heather Dinnich over at ESPN.com puts it best:

" the news - or lack therof - has been my priority this morning"

So basically stay tuned upon leaving this waste called work I'll have plenty news to hit you with including today's podcast, game previews and the stuntastic ACC Diary.

"You think you know but you have no idea..."

http://espn.go.com/blog/acc/post?id=4711

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Da U, Makin' The ACC Look Good

While the bulk of the ACC has looked just like R. Kelly doo doo butter this season Randy Shannon has surprised the nation with his teams early success. True the Hokies and Beamer are ranked higher, holding it down at #5 with a clear shot at the national title. True the Hokies own the tie-breaker for the Coastal thanks to their dismantling of the Canes.

That may be true but after going through murderer's row and coming out 3-1 the folks in Coral Gables are squarely behind Shannon and nationally the name brand is having a national resurgence. This is what the league has been waiting on since 2004 when they added VT and Miami; two national powers in the title hunt.

With Jacory Harris getting aerodynamic on suckers, LaRon Byrd smokin' fools and the entire Canes young defense growing into an elite unit this Miami squad can go far. The real questions need to revolve around who is on the latest 7th flo' crew, where is Uncle Luke and at what point do bounties start becoming traditional locker room fodder again?

My guess is that its only a matter of time before Michael Irvin and Warren Sapp resurrect the old ways of the Canes.

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Drop Your Panties; Daddy's Buying A New House!

That's right folks. Just got the email not two minutes ago from Rams Club and I think I just peed myself. The "New Kenan" has just been green lit which means we'll be breaking ground as the Heels practice for their bowl game.

Its going to bowl in the stadium with more luxury boxes, more seating and an athlete center that will get the Heels ready for big boy football.

Get scared ACC. We're gonna make it fit.

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Jacory Harris: My Hero

Folks this is without a doubt the most awesomest, badass, ballerific and stuntastic hair cut of all time.

Not only is Jacory Harris aerodynamic, he can now rep Da UUUuuUuUuUuuUUU whenever he peaces out on defenders.

The kid has to have a big game tomorrow night and with the power of Da UuUUuuUuUuuUUU in the back of his head the survey says he will.

Weekly Previews and Game of the Week coming out soon.

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Jekyll and Hyde

Seriously ACC, you slay me. What with your wild ways and your Hurky Jerky decisions to be awful, terrible, crappy and oh so fantastic all at the same time.

Case and point; the Canes. A team that looked so offensively fantastic Jacory Harris was getting Heisman slobbed and Mark Whipple was crowned in the Dennis Green since of the word. They got abused by the Hokie Hi-ness this Saturday, a smack down so thoroughly layethed down that Miami dropped eleven sports from #9.

Or take their competition the Hokies who have Beamer Balled their way to #11 after a dismantling by Nick Saban's "Spartan-esque" Tide. Tyrod Taylor looked about as potent as a one balled man with a visectomy. Then this week the Hokies and Predator freshman Ryan Williams exploded to drop 31 on the Canes. They're back in the top 10 at #6 and appear to be fully back in the national title hunt. Alabama-VT rematch anyone?

Perhaps the best exhibit C is the North Carolina Tar Heel team. A unit that gave up 52 yards per game through its first three contests before bending over and taking it for 320+ yards. Bruce Carter is still on the milk carton while Gomer Pile aka Mark Whipple still stumbles through the playbook for 3 quarters before realizing the "hurry up" and quick passing game make Yates infinitely more effective.

This just in: when the offensive line is inexperienced and under manned they cannot block 5 and 7 step play action drops.

As my last exhibit of ACC futility matched only by sudden fertility we look at Florida State. A team so two faced they make Harvey Dent jealous. Yes that's a Batman reference and no not from the "Dark Knight" its from the animated series fool.

The Noles looked like they were well on their way to becoming the "Crimi-Noles" of old after shooting fireworks in the Miami loss and exploding for 54 against top 10 BYU. Then against USF, they got mollywopped yet again. No need to pile on as Bobby Bowden made the worst gaffe I've heard from a coach this season:

"They really were a whole lot better than we thought they were."

Seriously?

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Cheers and Boom Boom Pow To The Nation...Suckers

We'll pause for a moment of silence for Maryland, Duke and Virginia. Not because they're programs are dying (they are) but because for the next week we will not be discussing them as they are clearly raining all over the ACC's parade toward respectability. They're like the fat, haggard friend in a night club. Sure they make VT, Da U and Clemson look better but in the end they're the ones who stop you from getting to the VIP.

Translation, MD, Duke and UVA, please go home early because the rest of the league is trying to hit the VIP harder than Chris Brown popped Rihanna. On a related note UVA @ Maryland homecoming in College Park on October 17th should be the pillow fight of the year, and not the sorority house slumber party type.

Now on to the teams that are carrying the torch, NC State you only get a slight head nod because you beat the Bulldogs, of Gardner-Webb. UNC a slightly noddier head nod for beating ECU, a team that hates us but doesn't realize we don't care.

Finally we get to the awesomeness that is the rest of the league. GT your time for torch carrying is over but thanks for the top 15 ranking, we'll be blowing out your candle and thank you for making Miami's shine brighter as the Canes jump to #9 in the nation.

Da UuUUuUUUUUUUuU is on the verge of being back and thanks to Jacory Harris their offense looks to be among the nations elite. There are girls in thongs on South Beach who are auditioning to be part of this new Canes era. The 7th floor won't be enough to contain how nasty these Canes are right now and heading into this weeks game against VT I'm hoping Coral Gables is prepared with enough Grey Goose, Alaze and Magnums to contain the celebration.

Speaking of the Hokies, they escape against Nebraska and that is just enough for Beamer. Tyrod Taylor proves that while completely inept for the entire game his scrambling ability are still adequate enough to make Nebraska decide that rushing the quarterback is an optional task, leaving Taylor all day to find a wide open man. Hokie Hi will definitely need to find some offense against the UUuuUuuUuuuUuuUU but hey having two league teams in the top 15 ain't bad sucka duck.

Right outside the top 15 nestled in at #18 is the FSU "almost back to" Crimi-Noles. They beat the hell out of the fighting Mormons and Bronco Mendenhall. For the Noles first five possessions it looked like the Cougs were still on their two year missions as FSU scored at will. Just a week removed from narrowly beating the Gamecocks of Jacksonville State the Noles pounded #9 BYU into absolute submission.

Sidenote, games on VS blow. The announcers have such a MWC slant I wanted to alternate between puking and punchisizing their larynxes. I hate VS.

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You Can't Spell Swagger Without "Da U"

Folks if you did yourself the disservice of missing last night's 33-17 Georgia Tech throttling by the UUUUUUUUUUU (said Solja Boy style) then you missed an old school Canes beat down. A drubbing so thoroughly old school in its essence that I wasn't even surprised by the late game roughing the passer and ensuing celebration as Nesbitt collected his dignity like a freshman on their knees picking up their scattered locker contents.

Jacory Harris, I'm told, is the most dangerous man in the ACC. Sorry Russell Wilson but Harris is like you but with actual talent. He's a 6'6", 70 lbs version of Daunte Culpepper (the UCF baller version, not the 300 lbs, double chinned Lion version). The kid throws the ball effortlessly, scrambles with his head downfield and isn't afraid to get every receiver involved in the game; even basketball blinger (black-ginger) Jimmy Graham.

Defensively they bottled up the option with supreme athleticism and great discipline. I was more impressed with the latter as there's never been a doubt about their freakish flying abilities. Up ending Roddy Jones was spectacular as the UUUUUUUUUUUU (Crank Dat) showed they still had some swag.

Fans at Landshark Stadium even jumped up out the bed and turned their swag on as the place was packed for the first time since the Dolphins '72 undefeated season. Somehow people were able to stave off the urge to patronize their local Conga, Samba, Rhumba, Salsa or Ecstasy club long enough for the Canes to go all "Mike Lowery" on the Jackets.

As for the Wreck, that's exactly what they are at this point, wrecked. Like an old beater that goes from 0 to 90 in a half second but then refuses to even turnover when you've got your girl in the car. The Jackets showed explosiveness against Clemson but then sputtered to that awkward halt in the front yard in the second half and have remained there, on blocks in the front yard.

Back to the drawing board Paul Johnson and the scary thing is there isn't much adjusting he can do. Once this is your system you're stuck, there is no "well we'll try more open sets" or "we'll go with a few more passes to the tight ends and backs". This is it you just go back to practice and run the same plays you ran last night that didn't work.

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The ACC Week 3: GOTW

Just one week removed from playing in a rivalry game against the Clemson Tigers the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets are back on the Thursday Night circuit playing another crucial ACC contest. This time it is an inter-divisional game against the up and coming Miami Hurricanes, a game that last season saw the Jackets thoroughly throttle the inexperienced Canes 41-23 while piling up 472 yards of rushing offense.

Coming off a largely unimpressive effort offensively the Ramblin’ Wreck looks to hit the ground running against Randy Shannon’s team. However the Canes have had an extra week to prepare for this game and, after shocking the nation with their firepower on Labor Day, the U looks for their first 2-0 start since 2004.

Paul Johnson’s team looks to get their offense back on track after being stymied by the Clemson defensive front seven. Although the Jackets built an impressive lead last Thursday the Wreck only scored sixteen offensive points; no touchdown through sustained drives and relied on their first quarter trickeration to defeat the Tigers. This week Johnson’s troops need to get their offense back to the rushing machine they’ve been in the past.

Most Intriguing Storylines: Coastal Positioning and ACC’s National Image

Coastal Positioning

Entering the 2009 campaign Georgia Tech was expected to challenge Virginia Tech for the Coastal Division title out of the gate while Miami was lumped in with North Carolina as a possible dark horse candidate. The Canes jumped out of the shoot with an impressive victory over Florida State while GT has looked less than impressive in their two victories.

Both teams are 1-0 in the ACC with wins over the Atlantic Division’s two favorites but this game holds tremendous weight in their race to unseat the Hokies. For both Miami and Tech this game is the middle game of an early season three game ACC stretch; the Wreck already beat Clemson, now face Miami before hosting the Tar Heels while Miami has defeated FSU, hosts GT before making the road trip to Blacksburg.

This game is crucial because both VT and UNC are formidable opponents. Neither third win is guaranteed and the team that loses in Landshark Stadium will be in a position to start the ACC season 1-2 and already behind the eight ball in reference to the conference title game.

ACC’s National Image

The Atlantic Coast Conference has had two remarkably stellar games in their national television showcases. Both the Miami-FSU and Clemson-Georgia Tech were instant classic caliber games that featured offensive firepower, defensive stands, explosive plays and tremendous coaching decisions. This game must continue to carry that torch for the league because while the aforementioned contests were great to watch the rest of the league’s games have failed to reach the same pinnacle.

Two losses to FCS schools, another overtime and regulation nail-biter against an FCS team plus several ugly offensive efforts against BCS opponents have tainted the ACC’s overall image. Another strong outing on the national stage would be a huge step towards rectifying damage done by, most notably, UNC, NC State, FSU, Maryland, Duke and Virginia. It’s a heavy cross to bear but Randy Shannon and Paul Johnson are both tasked with carrying the conference flag tonight.

Match Ups to Watch:

Miami’s Athletic Front 7 vs Georgia Tech’s Flexbone Attack

Last week when the Clemson front seven was tasked with defending the ACC’s premier rushing attack by staying at home and making sure tackles. Although Kavell Conner gave up a big play by missing on his rules early in the game the Tigers settled down, circled the wagons and shut down one of the nation’s best running backs Jonathan Dwyer. GT needs to force the Jackets to overrun plays, miss tackles and wear town in order to be successful moving the football up and down the field.

For the Canes this is the most important issue as they surrendered nearly 500 yards against the Jackets potent attack. This season the Canes return Colin McCarthy, their talented anchor in the linebacking core, as well as five other starters from just a season ago. New coordinator John Lovett is a year removed from watching the Tar Heels play a disciplined “bend but don’t break” strategy that forced the Jackets into turnovers and even though the Wreck piled up 326 rushing yards they only managed 7 points.

UM’s Offensive Tackles vs Derrick Morgan

Matt Pipho and Orlando Franklin will be Jacory Harris’ best friends heading into this game as they are his body guards against GT’s warrior of a defensive end Derrick Morgan. Last week Morgan abused both of Clemson’s tackles en route to harassing Kyle Parker and disrupting the rushing and passing attack. With Harris and the U’s best offensive player Morgan looks to get on track early against Pipho and Franklin through his wide array of pass rush moves.

For the two tackles keeping Harris upright is the most important task of the night as Harris is most effective through play action, deep drops and roll outs that enable him to through the ball downfield. The drawback to all three of these methods is that they also give the defensive line, Morgan in this case, more time to get to the quarterback. The tackles will need help from tight ends, backs and guards as containing Morgan is a task best accomplished by committee, not one on one.

Key to the Game: Miami’s Offensive Attack

The best defense for the Miami Hurricanes will be their offense for two reasons:

1) The Canes can rest their defense from the cutting and attacking of the Georgia Tech scheme that relies on wearing down the defense to force mistakes. Ergo a fresher defense and fewer mistakes means a better chance to defend the Tech option attack.

2) Scoring on the Jackets forces them to lose their “run first, run often” mentality. They cannot play from behind in the option and forcing them to throw creates turnover opportunities galore as Nesbitt is the ACC’s worst throwing quarterback.

My Pick: Miami 38 Georgia Tech 35

The ACC Week 3: Betta Have My Money!

As the season opened the original theme of the ACC's twelve member institutions was to build on the momentum created with the ten bowl teams just a season ago. However anemic showings as have shifted that theme from building upon existing momentum to generating any semblance of good will toward the conference nationally. More contests such as the Miami-FSU, Clemson-Georgia Tech and Wake Forest-Stanford efforts are needed to slowly erase the FSU-Jacksonville State, Maryland-James Madison debacles of the week two schedule.

FCS games are slowly weaning their way out of the schedule slate as there are only two this week and both NC State and Wake Forest are fully prepared to play their respective in-state competition. During this week's ACC conference call both O'Brien and Grobe acknowledged that they could do their part for the ACC by not allowing dispersions to be cast through their respective squads struggling against an FCS opponent.

Gardner-Webb @ NC State 6:00 PM
Elon @ Wake Forest 6:30 PM

Middle Tennessee @ Maryland 3:30 PM

On paper this game doesn't draw most casual fans' attention, a middle of the pack Sun Belt team against an ACC team that appeared in last years Humanitarian Bowl. Upon further review two things become apparent; first is last season's 24-14 MTSU beating of the Terps in which they dominated the ACC school and second the terrible showing that the Terrapins have had so far in this young season.

Friedgen's troops enter this game on the heels of a throttling by California and more immediately and overtime nail-biter against the Colonial League's James Madison Dukes. The once innovative offensive coordinator now leads a team that is stagnant on offense, incapable on special teams and totally inept defensively. If the Terps do not get their act together James Franklin, the coach in waiting, may be hearing his number called before the season is out.

East Carolina @ North Carolina (ESPN2, Noon)- Pam Ward, Ray Bentley

The Tar Heels are 2-0 entering this contest against their quasi in-state rival but they were less than impressive against UConn on national television last weekend. The Heels defense, especially the front seven, played as advertised as they suffocated the Husky rushing attack and harassed the quarterback all afternoon allowing only 196 total yards. Problems emerge for the Tar Heels on offense as they only mustered one touchdown all game and were limited to 35 rushing yards on 38 carries.

Expect the Pirates to come into this game amped up after falling hard to West Virginia a week ago as dynamic quarterback Patrick Pinkney has looked less than stellar in his first two outings this season. The Purple and Gold always have a chip on their shoulder when playing the Tar Heels as the rivalry is largely one sided. With center Lowell Dyer and tight end Zack Pianalto sidelined for the Heels manufacturing yards will be the toughest task. Look to see heavy doses of Ryan Houston as well as new comer, receiver Eric Highsmith, who proved to be the Heels most reliable receiving threat on the perimeter.

Duke @ Kansas (Versus, Noon)- Ron Thulin, Kelly Stouffer, Lewis Johnson

The Blue Devils make their trip to Lawrence looking to build momentum after a win against Army last week. What sounds like a great basketball match up also pits two of college football's better offensive minds against one another as Mike Mangino squares off with quarterback guru David Cutcliffe.

Duke has their work cut out for them, especially after needing to rely on redshirt freshman quarterback Sean Renfree to bail out incumbent Thaddeus Lewis in order to beat the Black Knights last Saturday. Cutcliffe says both with play but the Devils need Lewis, their unquestionable leader entering 2009, to have a good showing if they expect to compete with an experienced and explosive Jayhawks team.

Boston College @ Clemson (Raycom, Noon)- Steve Martin, Rick Walker, Mike Hogewood

The Eagles have been a thorn in the Tigers side since they entered the ACC in 2005, beating Clemson three out of the four contests. Last season, under then interim coach Dabo Swinney the Tigers were able to reverse that losing trend. Now entering not only BC's first league game but also their first BCS contest the two first year head coaches will jockey for position in the ACC Atlantic. BC enters the game averaging 44 points as they've feasted on lesser competition while Clemson limps in after a tough loss to cross division rival Georgia Tech.

Clemson's fast, athletic defensive line will be unleashed against BC's inexperienced two headed monster at quarterback as both Justin Tuggle and David Shinskie will likely see their share of Ricky Sapp and Da'Quan Bowers. If Clemson's linebackers can bottle up Montel Harris and Josh Haden it could be a long day for the two ACC newcomers. On the Clemson side Kyle Parker will have to show some of that late game moxie he exhibited against Tech if he expects to prevail against a solid BC defense anchored by Spaziani's toughman attitude and disciplined approach.

Nebraska @ Virginia Tech (ABC, 3:30pm)- Sean McDonough, Matt Millen, Holly Rowe

A great candidate for the ACC's game of the week as two top twenty teams squaring off in Blacksburg should be a dandy of an event. This game features an old school power slowly rising back to prominence and a newly minted beast of program that rose from obscurity. While both teams look to run the football, play great special teams and challenge the edge by getting big plays the story of this game will be the play of the defenses.

Bo and Carl Pelini lead the new Blackshirt defense into Blacksburg a place that has become synonymous with defensive excellence in the last decade. Both will be led by their defensive fronts as Jason Worilds and company will look to harass quarterback Zac Lee and stymie explosive runner Roy Helu Jr on the path to victory. Ndamukong Suh will lead the Blackshirts in their effort to contain Tyrod Taylor as well as stop freshman phenom Ryan Williams.

Virginia @ Southern Mississippi (CBS College Sports, 3:30pm)- Jason Knapp, Akbar Gbaja-Biamila

Before the season started this contest was exciting for the prospect of seeing both Vic Hall and Ras-I Dowling squaring off against one of the nation's best kept secrets, receiver DeAndre Brown. As the chips have fallen into place this game is more about Southern Miss maintaining their possible BCS buster status than the match up of the corners on the freakishly talented receiver.

Virginia's truly flailing around at the bottom of the ACC's proverbial barrel and while it would be great to get a win in Hattiesburg the fact is that seeing any of the three quarterbacks listed as co-starters be consistent would be a small moral victory. Southern Miss is not only the favorite pick they're a 15.5 point favorite according to Vegas, quite an embarrassing position to be in for the Wahoos as a BCS representative.

Florida State @ Brigham Young (Versus, 7pm)- Joe Beninati, Glenn Parker, Lindy Thackson

BYU is the newest media darling as they beat a Bradford-less Oklahoma Sooners squad in Arlington to open the season with a bang. Quickly catapulting into the top ten the Cougars did not disappoint against Tulane and now enter their second major contest with the stakes very widely recognized. If the Cougs win this game they'll be set up to play their way straight into a definite BCS bowl spot and possibly a BCS title shot. Lose and BYU will disappear from the national conscience.

Florida State struggled with Jacksonville State in a sloppy game that required a fourth quarter comeback against the FCS opponent. After they're great looking loss to Miami their effort against the Gamecocks came as a quite a surprise. Making the trip out to Provo with a young team seems to have energized Bobby Bowden and if their defense can take advantage of injuries on the BYU front the Noles may be able to shock the college football world.

The ACC Week Three Predictions

Wake Forest 35 Elon 17
NC State 42 Gardner-Webb 10
Maryland 24 Middle Tennessee 21
North Carolina 17 ECU 10
Kansas 35 Duke 17
Clemson 31 Boston College 24
Virginia Tech 31 Nebraska 27
Southern Miss 28 Virginia 17
BYU 38 Florida State 31
Miami 38 Georgia Tech 35

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Only A Bit of a Shiner this Week...sooooo...

On the heels of the awesome Clemson-Georgia Tech game came a weekend where the only word that can describe the league is "blah". The absolute garbage trotted out on the fields across the eastern seaboard stank considerably less than last weeks dumpster juice effort but by and large this week was like graduating to rotting cabbage.

It was a veritable smorgousborg of mediocrity and sub-mediocre games. The Tar Heels jump started the weekend by looking absolutely manorexic against the Huskies of UConn; a team picked 6th in the Big LEast. Carolina's offense was remarkably awful, including tight end Zack Pianalto dislocating his ankle celebrating the Heels' loan jaunt into the end zone.

The crap-tastic day really turned it up as the afternoon games kicked off with Virginia. They seriously blow; not improving, not showing flashes just are the ultimate in suckitude. I've got tickets to the Carolina-UVA alumni weekend game and right now I'm planning on skipping it in favor of listening to old Lionel Richie .45's and letting 8 year olds take turns punchisizing my testes all day. TCU abused Virginia. It was a serious Rihanna-Chris Brown situation.

Maryland goes next and FYI crab cakes and football is not what Maryland does. Unless by football they mean go to overtime, win by a field goal and look pathetic against a Colonial League team. Friedgen was better fat, the bacon grease lubed up his play calling abilities.

The piece de resistance was the Florida State effort against the Gamecocks. Not South Carolina mind you, rather Jacksonville State. The school most famous for women's softball and LSU cast off Ryan Perriloux. The FCS team is, by all accounts, mediocre at there own level. Somehow they mustered the strength to take a preseason top 20 Seminoles team to the brink. The Noles lived on the margins and in the end a late score sealed the victory then the Noles piled on another score to look almost respectable.

Amazing that this was the same team that played an instant classic a week ago today.

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ACC Game Of The Week

The ACC had a less than stellar weekend in week one but the lone saving grace was the play in the Miami at Florida State team that saw both teams look strong. In keeping in the inter-conference thread this week’s Game of the Week is another primetime showdown. Clemson heads down to Atlanta to take on the Ramblin’ Wreck in Bobby Dodd Stadium for the rivals’ first ACC league game.

Last season this game was Dabo Swinney’s debut as the Tigers’ interim head coach and savvy veteran Paul Johnson beat him in a wire to wire struggle. The ACC needs to get another solid performance on television and while Clemson needs to win for their Atlantic title hopes the league would be better served with #15 Georgia Tech continuing to climb the polls.

Most Intriguing Storyline: Problems

Just one major storyline for both teams heading into this week’s game and that’s problems.

While the Tigers’ final score of 37 points seems impressive on the surface the fact that the team was only able to muster two offensive touchdowns against Middle Tennessee State raises a red flag entering today’s game. The bulk of their point production (23) came from special teams; either in the return facet where CJ Spiller and Jacoby Ford both had touchdown returns or from Richard Jackson’s field goals. Although the Tigers’ rushing attack picked up 202 yards on the ground, their best player, Spiller, only contributed 12 yards.

Against Georgia Tech Spiller will have to prove that his hamstring and body are capable of holding up to the “every down back” that he claims he is capable of being in the ACC.

For the Wreck their production problems revolve less around statistics and more around sustaining production. The Yellow Jackets have shown they can run the ball consistently but they laid the ball on the rug five times, losing three fumbles to the Gamecocks. In running Paul Johnson’s flexbone offense the Jackets have to be more conscious of ball security. Clemson is better prepared to take advantage of the Wreck’s mistakes and five fumbles against the Tigers would be lethal.

Match-Ups To Watch:

Morgan Burnett vs Kyle Parker

Morgan Burnett is the Jackets best defensive player and is among the nation’s elite safeties, ranking right behind the likes of Eric Berry and Taylor Mays. Burnett shared the national lead in interceptions with seven just a season ago and is a ball hawking and hard hitting safety. Kyle Parker is a redshirt freshman quarterback who is about to start only the second game of his young career.

Parker’s inexperience is further complicated by Clemson’s absence of a truly capable receiving core. Jacoby Ford, while decent as Aaron Kelly’s sidekick a year ago, hasn’t shown the ability to take the lead or be a go to receiver. Brandon Clear replaces Xavier Dye in the Tigers’ starting lineup as Dabo hopefully gets a boost in his receiving core. Kyle Parker’s going to have to overcome the best safety tandem he’ll face all year if the Tigers are going to be successful in the passing game.

Clemson’s Front 7 vs GT’s Option Attack

The Yellow Jackets’ offensive attack is one of the most unusual on the current college football landscape. Their offensive line is a group of mostly undersized, athletic, quick guys that work well as a unit. Johnson’ scheme utilizes aggressive cut blocks and pulling multiple players to create chaos with his five down linemen. The cut blocking and pulling create great angles directional blocking as well as open up the tremendous holes that Josh Nesbitt, Roddy Jones, Anthony Allen and Jonathan Dwyer take full advantage of each game.

For the Tigers, new defensive coordinator Kevin Steele has worked to mold the team into an aggressive, attacking unit. Now the savvy veteran Steele must un-teach the Tigers. Although Ricky Sapp, Kevin Alexander, Da’Quan Bowers and company are as athletic of a unit as there is in the nation their athleticism is a detriment against the Yellow Jackets. To be successful against the Jackets Steele must have his boys playing pure assignment football, not fast flow to the football.

Key To The Game: Discipline

Georgia Tech’s advantage lies in their ability to precisely execute their dynamic gameplan on a play by play basis. The team is very well trained, very well disciplined in their approach and will rigidly to adhere to Johnson’s system, a system they believe in whole heartedly. The drawback to the Jacket’s system will be in their constant exposure of the football, as was shown in their debut game against Jacksonville State as well as their losses a season ago to North Carolina and LSU.

Clemson must be disciplined in their approach as well. To defeat the Wreck the first order of business on every play must be to tackle the fullback. If the middle linebacker and defensive tackles do not accomplish this first task the Jackets will run roughshod over the Tigers. After tackling the fullback assignments must be followed; if Sapp or Bowers is responsible for the pitch back they must attack only the pitch back. A move towards Nesbitt and they leave Dwyer, Jones or Allen free in space with only a defensive back to beat before its off to the races.

This game is going to be a tight one with the Tigers a more athletic team under their first full season with Dabo Swinney at the helm and Tech a disciplined machine that, if they get rolling, can turn into a juggernaut. The short week will have less of an impact early as the Tigers have devoted practice time to this contest during both the spring and training camp but adjusting the Jackets game speed will still take time.

In this contest the discipline of the two squads will be called into question and Johnson’s unit is a proven commodity while Swinney is still searching for his team’s identity. The Jackets will run waves of running backs at the Tigers front seven and with Clemson and Kyle Parker’s inability to sustain drives the defense will eventually wear down at the hands of the three headed rushing attack.

My Pick: Georgia Tech 34 Clemson 27

The ACC Week 2 Preview...Righting the Ship

A year ago the Clemson Tigers got their brains beat in by Alabama and the ACC's national profile took an embarrassing beating. However, the league then rebounded to produce ten bowl teams and finish the year with an interesting conference race.

Well as 2009's season enters week two the ACC is in familiar territory; tasked with rebuilding the conference's image following a weekend straight out of a Stephen King book. Virginia and Duke going down to FCS programs, Maryland getting crushed by Cal plus Wake and Virginia Tech looking bad against Baylor and Alabama respectively.

This week's slate of games is a mixed bag with three against FCS competition, four non-BCS FBS games, three BCS games including one conference game and the new league darling 'Canes get a bye.

James Madison @ Maryland (6 pm)
Jacksonville State @ Florida State (6 pm)
Murray State @ NC State (6 pm)

To say that the ACC can ill afford another weekend of FCS upsets is a gross understatement. With Virginia and Duke dropping games in week one to lesser opponents you can expect Bobby Bowden, Ralph Friedgen and Tom O'Brien have stressed to their teams the importance of taking every opponent seriously. Couple last weeks events with the fact that each of these teams enters week 2 at 0-1 and I am confident there will be no FCS hiccup in the ACC's near future.

Marshall @ Virginia Tech (1:30 pm)

Coming off the ten point loss to Alabama Virginia Tech enters this Saturday's contest needing a win before kicking off against Nebraska. Look for Tyrod Taylor to get plenty of extra work as the Hokie quarterback and his receiving core looked absolutely abysmal against a fast, athletic Alabama defense. On the ground the Hokies running back trio will have to establish themselves in order to produce the rushing attack Frank Beamer's squad will rely on during the ACC season.

Luckily for the Hokies they still bring their defense and special teams to the party and should have plenty for the rest of their schedule. The defense will need the offense to hold on to the ball for larger chunks of time as the Tide wore down the Virginia Tech defense late in the Chic-Fil-A Kickoff Classic. Facing an undersized, undermanned Thundering Herd will help Beamer get back into the top ten.

Kent State @ Boston College (2 pm)

The Eagles played four quarterbacks with Justin Tuggle and David Shinskie getting the bulk of the significant snaps in BC's opening weekend 54-0 drubbing of Northeastern. Running backs Montel Harris and Josh Haden had solid showings and the BC defense held the FCS Huskies to just 131 yards. Coach Spaziani gets a win in his debut and game two is another non-BCS opponent, this time from the FBS ranks.

Kent State struggled with Coastal Carolina last Thursday as they limped to 2-0 lead at halftime before Eugene Jarvis and Giorgio Morgan finally led the Golden Flashes to second half touchdown drives that put the game out of reach. With Jarvis in the backfield Spaziani's defense is in for a stiffer test against the run as the 5'5" running back is capable of going the distance from anywhere on the field.

Stanford @ Wake Forest (Raycom, Noon) Steve Martin, Rick Walker, Mike Hogewood

Stanford is coming off of a 39-13 Pac 10 victory over the Washington State Cougars while the Deacons are coming off of a 24-21 loss to Baylor. Stanford truly looked dominant with Andrew Luck throwing for 193 yards and senior Toby Gerhart ran for 121 yards and two touchdowns. Wake Forest played a worse game than the close score indicated as Jim Grobe's squad as only able to muster 269 yards and leading rusher Devon Brown only gaining 46 yards.

The Demon Deacons are going to have to come out much sharper against a disciplined Stanford team that is looking to get back in the bowl business for the first time since 2001. Grobe's unit needs this game to get one in the win column as the ACC schedule looks to be a major test for the Deacs. Jim Harbaugh's team will test experienced quarterback Riley Skinner but the key to this game will be whether or not the Deacons can control the ground game.

Duke @ Army (CBS College Sports, Noon) Dave Ryan, Jason Sehorn

Cutcliffe's second season in Durham got off to a horrendous start as the Devils did the entire league a disservice by dropping a game to FCS opponent Richmond. This week the Blue Devils will have a shot at a little bit of redemption by traveling up to West Point and beating an undersized Army squad and first year coach Rich Ellerson.

The Black Knights enter the contest off a win over Eastern Michigan in which they piled up 300 rushing yards to go with just 8 passing yards. Army only surrendered 40 yards on the ground to the Eagles, however Duke's rushing effort against Richmond was an embarrassing 19 yards or 1.2 per carry. Cutcliffe's team threw 55 passes in their losing effort and for the Devils to succeed in this game and moving forward they had better find more balance on offense.

North Carolina @ Connecticut (ESPNU, Noon) Clay Matvick, David Diaz-Infante

North Carolina beat the Citadel 40-6 in doing their part to avoid the disaster that befell Duke and Virginia. UConn beat Ohio by a touchdown while piling up 259 yards on the ground, seeming to find a replacement for NFL draftee Donald Brown in Jordan Todman. For UConn this is a season where Randy Edsall's squad faces limited expectations but last years 38-12 rout at the hands of the Tar Heels will still be fresh in their minds.

While UConn is a much stiffer test than the Citadel provided the Tar Heels this is a game that Butch Davis' squad should win. The Heels will need to get a better effort out of their young receiving core and look for tight end Zack Pianalto to become more active as the young wideouts learn the ropes.

Texas Christian @ Virginia (ESPNU, 3:30pm) Todd Harris, Charles Arbuckle

Quite possibly the most pathetic story of the weekend is the Wahoos' performance against FCS William and Mary. The Tribe outgained UVA, held on to the ball for 11 more minutes than Virginia and intercepted Jameel Sewell three times to post a twelve point win. If Al Groh's seat was just warm heading into this game then it is on fire right now.

The Wahoos couldn't run the football, their passing was mediocre at best and their defense gave up 309 yards to William and Mary. Entering this contest against TCU, a team that ranked 16th nationally, the Wahoos will get the Horned Frogs best shot as they have waited an extra week to kickoff their season.Things are not looking good for Groh and company as Gary Patterson looks to kick off his BCS busting campaign on a hot note.

Clemson @ Georgia Tech (ESPN, 7:30pm) Chris Fowler, Jesse Palmer, Craig James, Erin Andrews

This week's ACC game of the week features a Clemson team getting their first real test in a game that, a year ago, saw new head man Dabo Swinney lose his interim debut. Paul Johnson's team looked more efficient in the flexbone last weekend but still layed the football on the rug five times, losing two of them. Under new defensive coordinator Kevin Steele the Tigers looked aggressive against MTSU, an aggressive nature that they will have to contain against the Yellow Jackets.

The biggest key to this game will be controlling the line of scrimmage. Georgia Tech's offense is predicated on keeping the opposition off balance and guessing. Clemson's new scheme focuses on forcing double teams and mismatches up front. Steele's defense, coming off a short week, must play true assignment football, tackle well and not over-pursue in order to squash the Jackets triple option attack.

On offense the most effective method of stopping the option is for Clemson to score early and often. Johnson's team isn't adequately equipped to play from behind and forcing Nesbitt to throw the football helps create interception and sack opportunities. The Tigers must get CJ Spiller running as the dynamic senior had a less than dynamic performance against the Blue Raiders.

These games are notoriously close and this one should be no different. Expect Tech to benefit from the short week and homefield advantage to rise to this national TV occassion in edging out the Tigers.

Maryland 28 James Madison 14
Florida State 45 Jacksonville State 10
NC State 24 Murray State 7
Boston College 41 Kent State 17
Wake Forest 31 Stanford 27
Duke 21 Army 17
North Carolina 28 Connecticut 14
Texas Christian 42 Virginia 14
Georgia Tech 34 Clemson 27


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And the Season Starts With A Bang...Sort Of

If by bang you mean all the excitement and bubbliness that comes with opening a five year old bottle of Andres then yes, it was bang-tastic.

The Wolfpack prove that perhaps the preseason hype wasn't exactly warranted while Stephen Garcia and the "Shamecocks" prove that its a lot harder to orchestrate touchdown drives than it is to drink underage, keycars and fight the Man.

Russell Wilson, suffers from sophomore jinx-itis.

At least that's the unofficial diagnosis. Symptoms include overthrowing wide open targets, underthrowing sure touchdowns and basically being the man-sized equivalent of "is it in yet" for the entire game.

Toney Baker does his best TA McLendon impersonation; coughing up the ball like it had swine flu.

So score one for the SEC, albeit an ugly one. This win is the sort of lay where you don't tell your friends who she is, you just add her quietly to your tally sheet and hope to God that no one asks for her information. Best case scenario people will forget this game ever happened, worst case scenario both teams prove this was a bigger pillow fight than Auburn-Mississippi State circa 2008.

As a buddy said last night mid-game:

"This game shouldn't be on tv"

Photo:http://www.dragons-eye.com/peed-my-pants-13,-14,-15.jpg

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ACC Game Of The Week

This week’s ACC game of the week takes place in Atlanta where the second annual Chic-Fil-A Kickoff Classic gets underway pitting the Hokies against the Alabama Crimson Tide. A year ago this game had a devastating effect on the ACC’s overall national perception and rightfully so as the Clemson Tigers were blitzed by Nick Saban’s Alabama squad. Not only do the Hokies need this game to start their ’09 season off on the right foot, the league needs Beamer’s team to show the nation that it’s much improved from last years beat down.

Most Intriguing Storylines: Redemption and Distraction

Distractions

For the Hokies the biggest distraction has been answering questions concerning star running back Darren Evans’ torn ACL. The teams best player in 2008 and Orange Bowl MVP Evans was expected to tote the rock heavily for the run reliant Hokies.

Most programs would be reeling from this loss; however, Frank Beamer is not most leaders. His reaction was, in short, I’ve got more players on the bench than I’ve got on the field. The stoic, no nonsense coach will rely on three talented young guns to pick up the slack; Ryan Williams being the most dynamic with David Wilson and Josh Oglesby helping out.

On the Bama side distractions are also abound. Terrence Cody and several other Alabama players were stricken with Swine Flu, Mark Ingram and Julio Jones recently emerged from amidst a fishing trip scandal and most recently defensive end Brandon Deaderick was the victim of a robbery/shooting in his apartment complex.

Nick Saban, the master of focus and blocking out distraction gets Ingram and Jones back into the line up, the swine flu appears to have left Tuscaloosa just Deaderick remains unresolved. With Saban’s new contract, the slap on the wrist from the NCAA plus the aforementioned issues there’s no doubt Saban has circled the wagons.

Redemption

Twice in the Georgia Dome the ACC was embarrassed lasts season; opening the season when Clemson got steamrolled by Alabama and closing the year out with LSU’s drubbing of Georgia Tech. Virginia Tech not only needs this game to kickoff their 2009 campaign but they need to show the nation that the ACC is better than the 72 – 13 margin of last season’s whippings.

The onus is on the Hokies in the spotlight to carry the torch for the ACC against a very nasty Alabama squad.

Match Ups To Watch

Stephan Virgil and Kam Chancellor vs Julio Jones

The two Hokies are the best players in the secondary for Bud Foster’s defense and they will face their toughest test of the season in containing world beater Julio Jones. Jones diced up LSU (128 yards), Georgia (94 yards) and Florida (124 yards) just a season ago and looks to build on his stellar freshman campaign. Virginia Tech’s defense is known for their stout play in the back end and Chancellor, one of the nation’s premier safeties, will get a chance to prove his worth against Jones, the nation’s top receiving talent.

Mount Cody vs Hokies Offensive Line

Terrence Cody, coming off the swine flu is still listed at a stout 354 lbs by Alabama. The Mount spent his junior year at Alabama proving double teams inadequate and dominating the line of scrimmage. The Hokies have an experienced offensive line featuring guard Sergio Render, one of the nation’s elite interior linemen.

At 319 lbs Render is still outweighed by the Alabama behemoth but the All-ACC guard is a dominating road grader in his own right. Look for Render, along with fellow mates RG Jaymes Brooks and C Beau Warren, to force the big man to battle cut blocks, double teams and trap blocks to keep him from getting that big body moving forward.

Key to the Game: Quarterback Play

Both teams will come out looking to run the football; Bama with Ingram and Virginia Tech with Williams, Wilson and Oglesby. Both teams will come out looking to stuff the box and shut down the other teams’ ground game. Both teams feature coaches that are cut from the hardnosed, no nonsense, no gimmick school of pure football. The parallels between the two teams are truly remarkable.

With an abundance of similarities the divergence is where the game will be won. The most obvious difference is the quarterback situation. VT features Tyrod Taylor, while the Tide trots out Greg McElroy. Experience versus Inexperience. Dual Threat versus Game Manager. 10-3 record in 2008 as a starter versus 11 total pass attempts in 2008.

The quarterbacks could not be more different and here lies the key to this Saturday evening match up. Taylor’s experience in big games and dual threat ability will come in handy against an Alabama defense that is chomping at the bit to atone for their last two outings that ended in embarrassing fashion. Saban’s got a heck of a defensive mind but due to Taylor’s scrambling capability and the talent to extend plays with his legs the Tide defense will be forced to play a passive defense that contains Taylor rather than attacks the junior.

On the other hand, McElroy is an inexperienced quarterback walking into his first major battle against Bud Foster’s highly vaunted defense. The Hokies, with an experienced secondary and defensive line, will throw confusing pre-snap looks, difficult zone blitzes and complicated pressure schemes to discombobulate the first year starter.

As the teams are so evenly matched this game boils down to McElroy’s ability to make plays with his arm against Foster’s defense.

My Pick: Virginia Tech

Thank The Lord!!!

South Carolina @ North Carolina State (ESPN, 7pm) Sean McDonough, Jesse Palmer, Craig James, Erin Andrews

The return of Erin Andrews sees the tables turned in a rematch of last season's major college football opener. This year NC State has answers to their question marks while South Carolina's quarterback, receiving core and offensive line are veritable unknowns going into the game in Raleigh. 

Russell Wilson is arguably the ACC's best quarterback and with the return of mega recruit Toney Baker to the lineup the Pack should have a lethal one, two punch in the backfield.  

On defense look for the Pack to replace injured backer Nate Irving with sophomore Audie Cole, a physical specimen in his own right who should prove adequate in the Pack's stout front seven. Willie Young is the unquestioned leader and the Pack front should stop the run and put a ton of pressure on Stephen Garcia.  

Garcia is a redshirt sophomore, however thanks to a little trouble 2009 was the talented quarterback's first spring practice on campus. The Gamecocks lost their top two receivers to graduation, they look to start an inexperienced tailback and have holes along the offensive line. On defense the front seven is stout but, as they showed a season ago, prone to late game collapses due to the offenses ineptitude and frequent three and outs.

NC State 27 South Carolina 17
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Pish Posh: The ACC Takes on The Widdle Guy

Five ACC schools open with FCS programs while Clemson jumps out against the Sun Belt's mighty behemoth Middle Tennessee. Nothing to see here but if any of these teams loses "Hello Dolly" strike up the band and get ready to scoop gallons of egg off our face.

Seriously, don't be that guy.

Georgia Tech vs Jacksonville State (1pm)

Paul Johnson's team beat Jacksonville State 41-14 a season ago in their option offense infancy. This year with two springs, two training camps and 18 returning starters expect the Jackets to be more efficient and thus more lethal against the Gamecocks.

Georgia Tech 52 Jacksonville State 14

Boston College vs Northeastern (2pm)

New coach Frank Spaziani has plenty of question marks at quarterback, especially with projected starter David Shinskie suffering from cracked ribs entering this week. The defense is missing their top four talents from a season ago but the Eagles have plenty for their semi-crosstown rivals.

Boston College 28 Northeastern 7

Virginia vs William & Mary (6pm)

Al Groh's seat has never been hotter as he enters the 2009 season with three viable quarterback options and a revamped coaching staff. The Tribe is a disciplined group of FCS players who may keep it close against Virginia's inexperienced linebacking core but the Wahoos will avoid a possible deathblow.

Virginia 24 William & Mary 10

North Carolina vs The Citadel (6pm)

Entering year three of the Butch Davis era the Tar Heel faithful will be reminded of last season's opening game nightmare; a nail biter against McNeese State in Kenan. The Citadel is a similarly modeled team; quick passes to neutralize UNC's girth up front but the Heels more experienced linebackers and secondary core won't make the crowd sweat like they did a season ago.

North Carolina 42 The Citadel 17

Duke vs Richmond (7pm)

Cutcliffe's number one goal since arriving in Durham has been to increase the Blue Devils team speed. This first game won't offer quite the same test as their ACC slate but the Spiders are coming off an FCS title and return their dynamic quarterback Eric Ward. Duke must come out the gate hot to have a shot at reaching bowl eligibility.

Duke 35 Richmond 17

Clemson vs Middle Tennessee (6 pm)

New coach, new defense and a new quarterback mean that Clemson is somewhat in flux for Dabo's first season. Middle Tennessee is a team that beat Maryland by ten the week before the Terps beat Cal. They've got talent at running back but the Tigers' defense should definitely be up to shutting them down under new defensive coordinator Kevin Steele.

Clemson 38 Middle Tennessee 7

And seriously Duke; I know they're the "reigning FCS Champions" but don't do this to us.

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The ACC Week 1....Let's Get It Started

I apologize for the Black Eyed Peas Lyric, -15 for that

The ACC Week 1 Preview Part I

South Carolina @ North Carolina State (ESPN, 7pm)
Sean McDonough, Jesse Palmer, Craig James, Erin Andrews

Entering this game images of last year should be dancing in the head of the Pack faithful.

The return of Erin Andrews sees the tables turned in a rematch of last season’s major college football opener. This year NC State has answers to their question marks while South Carolina’s quarterback, receiving core and offensive line are veritable unknowns going into the game in Raleigh. Russell Wilson is arguably the ACC’s best quarterback and with the return of mega recruit Toney Baker to the lineup the Pack should have a lethal one, two punch in the backfield.

On defense look for the Pack to replace injured backer Nate Irving with sophomore Audie Cole, a physical specimen in his own right who should prove adequate in the Pack’s stout front seven. Willie Young is the unquestioned leader and the Pack front should stop the run and put a ton of pressure on Stephen Garcia.

Stephen Garcia is a redshirt sophomore, however thanks to a little trouble 2009 was the talented quarterback’s first spring practice on campus. The Gamecocks lost their top two receivers to graduation, they look to start an inexperienced tailback and have holes along the offensive line. On defense the front seven is stout but, as they showed a season ago, prone to late game collapses due to the offenses ineptitude and frequent three and outs.

NC State 27 South Carolina 17

Hope Springs Eternal...For Now

In just over two days we will be shoving off on the voyage that is College Football 2009. The season will see plenty of ups and downs but for right now everyone is undefeated. Everyone is in the hunt for the national title. Everyone is tied for first place in their league.

Sure quarterback question marks surround Boston College; especially with David Shinskie suffering a cracked rib and Justin "Give Me A" Tuggle getting the apparent (?) nod from Spaz.

Sure Duke's battling the weight of a half century of being quagmired in abject mediocrity. Too generous? Ok we'll say the Blue Devils have lived in the Treblinka of college football success and their loan escape attempt, the Spurrier era, was cut short by a pack of swastika wearing German Shepherd from Gainesville clad in Blue and Orange.

Sure the Hokies lost Darren Evans; they're freshman All-American beast mode running back. But its ok Ryan Williams and Co will be there to literally shred the flesh from defenders and pop out ACL's with their thumbs. The stable at VT is nice, be ready because their eternal hope can only be buoyed by a beating of Alabama.

Perhaps the most perplexing quandary approaching the season is why Miami's two back up quarterbacks transferred a week and change before the first game. Surely one of them could have stayed to, oh, I don't know play just in case the rail thin Jacory Harris gets dinged up? Guess not. Every time Harris takes off running Randy Shannon will be sweating like a whore in church.

Speaking of church the Wahoos had better pray for a bowl game OR for no bowl game if you're not in the Al Groh camp. Either way trotting out the triple threat of Vic Hall, Mark Verica and Jameel Sewell doesn't necessarily terrify the nation but it should scare the entire coaching staff.

Just some thoughts don't worry I will casually continue to ruminate on the ACC and be ready the podcast starts soon.



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Hide Yer Women and Children!

Its game week! So that's healthy helpings of Evan Williams' "frat water" and plenty of beer to chase the chest hair wooing swill. There's no need to class it up beyond Wild Turkey as we show everyone why college football is God's gift to the south.

Its the first week of the season and if that doesn't make you stand up tall like a "wedding Richard" then you'll never get it up. The ACC has the honor of not only kicking off the season but also being in the nation's showcase game Saturday.

We're getting the podcast up and running again as the season starts and we'll also be cranking out the silly, serious and down right badass content that should make you wanna do something strange for some change.

Stick with me and I'll get you're mind right for the season, obviously Carolina news shall follow and peep your boy on twitter at http://www.twitter.com/michaelfelder

Face!

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Poetically Speaking

This is a brand new segment to kick off the season. Yes, I know I've allowed the blog to go stagnant during the Sahara that is the summertime. Yes, I know that Seinfeld of the day, ACC through Occam's Razor and other features were badass.

Anyways, with just 6 days left I decided to restart so that I don't fall prey to that brutal disease known as mid-season burn out.

There will be no preseason previews, I figured if you idiots are looking to me as your lone source for ACC information you're, and I mean this respectfully, a slack jawed mouth breather. There's plenty of magazines, school ran sites and blogs that give you a "preview" even though every synopsis is relatively similar in its flacid, mundane approach:

They lose this, they gain this, so and so must step up and coach is 1)On the hot seat or 2)Finally ready to blossom.

So without further ado I will bang out this newest update, Poetically Speaking. In this 1st edition we'll do:

THE ACC in LIMMERICKS!

If you don't know what a limmerick is then you're either in preschool or you don't deserve to have ever graduated from any reputable elementary school. Moron!

Boston College

They've played in 3 straight ACC title games
But in 4 seasons 3 coaches did change
With Herzlich out
All the fuss is about
Which unproven quarterback will be the least lame

Clemson

This team makes me think of a Fanta
The Orange and Grape got pounded in Atlanta
Now Tommy is out
Because of the rout
And Dabo must take the Tigers to Tampa

Duke

Cutcliffe's Devils got off to a hot start
But around week five they just fell apart
An increase in team speed
Is Duke's dire need
Because the players are already smart

Florida State

Bobby Bowden's still right in the mix
Christian Ponder must avoid throwing picks
The O-Line is buff
If the defense plays tough
They'll see better days than Sexton, X-Lee and Chris Rix

Georgia Tech

Paul Johnson's flexbone strikes fear
He adds Allen to Jones and Dwyer this year
Replace 3 on the D-Line
But the O will be fine
That Johnson's a hell of an option engineer

Maryland

Slim Fridge's Terps have 2 nice running backs
Low expectations may help them sneak up on the pack
But with no receiving threat
Well at least no one yet
Chris Turner may be in for quite a few sacks

Miami

Miami's slowly closing the gap
Fans thought OC Nix was a hack
The Canes'll take lumps
Before the win total jumps
But Shannon is slowly bringing the U back

North Carolina

There's a boy named Butch from Ar-Kansas
His most talented recruits still in feetie pajamas
He's got speedy 'backers
Could use a few qb sackers
To make the Heels 09 season bananas

NC State

Nate Irving is out for the year
But defenders have Russell Wilson to fear
If he can avoid big hits
Doesn't throw picks
The 10 wins will make Raleigh cheer

Virginia

Al Groh is back on the hot seat
It seems like the headline's a repeat
Sewell and Hall will factors
Can they replace their linebackers
For the 'Hoos a bowl game is a treat

Virginia Tech

The Hokies are the true cream of the crop
Beamer didn't blink when Evans' ACL went pop
He said we got a stable
Our defense is able
VPI still expects to be on the top

Wake Forest

The Deacs have a seasoned o-line
They will give Riley Skinner plenty of time
The offense seems ready
But is the defense still steady
Or was the NFL Draft the start of the decline

Its not Shakespeare but I know I'm damn good. Let's play some footbaaaaallllllll!

Photo HT:http://outsports.com/jocktalkblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/hokies1.jpg

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The ACC's Top Non-Conference Games 5-1

#5 Georgia @ Georgia Tech on November 28th

Last year between the hedges the Bulldogs got embarrassed by a Tech team that was a 7.5 point underdog. Stafford’s big numbers passing came largely in playing catch up for the second half following a massive Yellow Jacket rushing onslaught after halftime. The Ramblin’ Wreck just seemed to physically impose their will on the Dawgs as the Jackets carved up Georgia’s porous run defense to the tune of 409 yards. Another year under Paul Johnson sees the Jackets cracking preseason top 15’s and emerging as an ACC Title Contender. On the flip side Georgia is in an under the radar mode after losing two NFL first rounders. This season finale in Atlanta will help the ACC again show where they stand in the South compared to the SEC.

#4 South Carolina @ North Carolina State on September 3rd

Last season the Pack got beat down in Columbia both physically and on the scoreboard. Russell Wilson was abused by the Gamecocks front seven and the NC State offense looked remarkably inept. The NC State defense showed flashes but somehow managed to make Spurrier’s Chris Smelley led offense seem adequate. This season as the kickoff game Raleigh’s fairgrounds will be juiced up and the tables have turned somewhat. NC State is the team with the expectations and South Carolina is the team ensnarled in questions. Although the loss of Nate Irving hurts the Wolfpack the return of a stellar defensive line and a proven winner at quarterback should help the ACC jump start the season on the right foot.

#3 Texas Christian @ Clemson on September 26th

Gary Patterson has built the most consistent non-BCS team of the last decade in terms of taking on and hanging with the big boys. He’s scheduled solid BCS opponents and the success of the Mountain West, though punctuated by Utah recently, begins in Fort Worth. The Horned Frogs will not be intimidated by Death Valley, they are one year removed from standing toe to toe with Oklahoma in Norman. For the ACC to truly move closer to the same stratosphere as the Big XII and SEC they must not lose to this non-BCS model of consistency. An experienced TCU defense will push either inexperienced quarterback the Tigers trot out and expect Patterson to have something up his sleeve for CJ Spiller the Tigers dangerous X factor. This game is a must win in Death Valley, not just for the Tigers but for the ACC.

#2 Florida State @ Brigham Young on September 19th

Provo, Utah is not the most popular destination for a group of seventy-five 18-23 year olds from Florida. However, Bobby Bowden will take his roster of talented young Seminoles out west for what will likely be a top twenty match up against the Mountain West Conference. Christian Ponder vs Max Hall will be the big showdown as the FSU defense tries to stop Harvey Unga and Jimbo Fisher’s offense looks to get on track against a BYU defense that’s proven itself porous at times. Much like the TCU and Clemson game the Seminoles must carry the torch against an up and coming Mountain West Conference for the ACC and the BCS.

#1 Virginia Tech vs Alabama on September 5th in Atlanta

The Chic-Fil-A Kickoff Game should make every ACC fans stomach turn after last season’s debacle. Aside from the 2007 BCS Title game where Florida trounced and outclassed Ohio State no game in recent memory cast more dispersions on a team and conference than last season’s 34-13 Alabama mud hole stomping of Clemson. Enter 2009’s Virginia Tech Hokies, and while they can’t redeem Bowden’s punchless Tigers of a year ago the Hokies do have the capability of resurrecting the ACC in the public eye.

The Hokies are everything the Tigers were not; they’re plain where the Tigers were flashy, they’re gritty where the Tigers were pretty and they stomp where the Tigers danced. Pair the "bring your lunch pail" mentality personified by Beamers squad with the "roll your sleeves up and get dirty" nature of Nick Saban’s Tide and you’ve got an old fashioned, hand in the dirt, "hit me and I’ll hit you back", head cracking battle in the ATL.

A thousand apologies to the September 12th USC and Ohio State match up; this game here is the top 10 heavyweight, inter-conference match for 2009. Two teams so eerily similar in philosophy and approach to football that if you removed the names and colors the only clear difference would be Tyrod Taylor scrambling and Alabama’s 3-4 defense compared to the 4-3, 4-4 hybrid of the Hokies.

The ACC's Top Non-Conference Games 10-6

This year is one of reckoning as the ACC garnered just a little bit of national respect for sending a record ten teams to bowl games. The recently maligned league has two jobs entering the 2009 season; continue the improvement made through upgrading coaching, facilities and talent level and work to maintain some of the national spotlight. With several critical out of conference dates for the ACC’s contenders we’ll take a look at the ten most critical games for the ACC and its national perception.

#10 Oklahoma @ Miami on October 3rd

No one expects the young Canes to win this game early in the season and rightfully so; the Sooners return plenty of firepower from their Big XII Championship team. The young Randy Shannon has been to only one lower tier bowl game so it would seem Big Game Bob Stoops has the Hurricanes overmatched at every turn heading into this contest. It’s the very obvious "haves" of OU versus the "not sure what we have yets." With the OU team going up for their second straight BCS title game appearance this is a great measuring stick for Shannon’s young team. If the Canes can keep it close, or pull off the improbable upset, this would be a solid hat tip to the improving ACC.



#9 Florida State @ Florida on November 28th

The annual contest of the North Florida rivals was a slopfest a season ago that saw the eventual national champions run roughshod through an inexperienced, offensively inept Florida State team. This game will be another measuring stick more than a slug it out battle of the nineties. The Noles are trying to comeback to prominence and their performance will show Bobby Bowden, Mickey Andrews and most importantly Jimbo Fisher how much further the Tallahassee squad must climb to return to the glory of a decade ago.



#8 Boston College @ Notre Dame on October 24th

Last years Atlantic Champs have lost quite a bit including two of the top four defensive tackles taken in this years NFL draft; their second coach in as many seasons and two starting linebackers for the season. New "old" coach Frank Spaziani makes his first trip to South Bend at the helm after handling this rivalry from the defensive coordinator position over the last decade. The Irish appear poised for a break out season after two years of subpar football and the Eagles look to be set for a down year. BC has beaten Notre Dame handily each of the last two seasons but without a proven quarterback and questions on defense that streak could be coming to an end quickly. However, a win here over a hyped ND squad would be a solid coup for the league.



#7 Virginia Tech @ East Carolina on November 5th

The Hokies first and foremost need revenge for a season opening loss in 2008. East Carolina is a potential BCS buster out of Conference-USA and entering 2009 both teams are drastically improved from last years opener. For ECU Pickney is the full time gamer and Skip Holtz’s Pirates return a total of 16 starters. The Hokies have a weapon, in Tyrod Taylor that the Beamer opted not to utilize in last season’s close loss and the freshman receiving and running back core is a year older and Orange Bowl tested. A loss to a non-BCS opponent would be brutal for the ACC here and what’s worse is a loss to East Carolina would send a shockwave through the region.



#6 East Carolina @ North Carolina on September 9th

Two seasons ago Butch Davis was baptized into this largely one sided rivalry as the Pirates packed Dowdy-Ficklen and beat the state’s flagship university. Davis knows full well how pesky a confident ECU can be as they were a thorn in the side of his Canes. A lot has changed since 2007 and the Heels look to prove they’re "The Old North State’s" true big boys by winning. While a Hokie loss is worse nationally for the ACC; the four league schools sharing the state know that another Carolina loss to ECU would shake up the recruiting picture and muddy the waters between the BCS teams and the non-BCS Pirate squad.

Check Back Soon For 5-1 of the ACC's Best Non-Conference Games...

Friday Fisticuffs

After an almost two week hiatus to recover from the awfulness created by confirmed kills day we're back for a day before regrouping for the long hall this weekend. As usual we bring you the Friday Comment Breakdance Fight.

While it'd be easy to do something near and dear to our readers hearts like which drug or bear is best; we're going to attempt to keep it 3 rated and not "Showgirls" styled NC-17. Speaking of No Children hats off to John and Kate for pretending not to have kids and getting all the shine. BTW, yes that's the lone J&K+8 reference you'll ever see on my site (sometimes I get bored waiting in grocery store lines).

As we're speeding into this 4th of July weekend I decided to go Patriotic on your white ass. And by white ass I mean red, white and blue posterior. And by Patriotic I mean fireworks because nothing is more Patriotic than running to that assbackward state that borders yours, buying copious amounts of TNT inspired fireworks and speeding home to cause serious trouble.

Thus our Friday smackdown is FIREWORKS! As in which fireworks are best?

Personally I'm partial to bottle rockets and M80's. Bottle Rockets are fun to shoot at each other, don't believe the box about aiming; grow a pair and shoot them at each other from across the yard. If you've got real balls try and catch them and throw them.

As for M80's; they're the daddy of the fireworks world. A mini dynamite stick made for kids to blow up watermelons (please save your black jokes for the comments section), GI Joes, Mailboxes and my personal favorite; fish. Yes fish, the fuse is waterproof so if you find an unattended koi pond or a pond where fish come to the surface and eat anything you can splatter fish guts everywhere: AWESOME!

Whether its black cats, the chinese styled, smoke bombs, cherry bombs or roman candles defend your choice with vigor my friends. I will admit shooting off a roman candle in a confined space is a good way to make the shart ghost visit.

PS- First person who says sparklers wins a free prize!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Official "Confirmed Kills Blog Roll"

Folks the day is about to officially kick off and thus the blog is rolling for your dumbself. Seeing as we are clearly football first I'll sprinkle random ACC knowledge into the days coming posts.

Actually on second thought I'll just sprinkle them into the comments section to keep things awesome!

I'll kick off with a quote about my (not) favorite tennis player Amelie Mauresmo and please feel free to add your own soul stealing diatribes.

"She had an Adam's apple as big as her balls and her hands were the size of Andre the Giants."

Its about to get grazy for this blogger!

"And remember, you can't get a butthole pregnant"
-Crandall Lea

And yes that is a beautiful matress stain. BYAAaaaaaaAAAAH!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Official "Confirmed Kills Blog Roll"

Folks the day is about to officially kick off and thus the blog is rolling for your dumbself. Seeing as we are clearly football first I'll sprinkle random ACC knowledge into the days coming posts.

Actually on second thought I'll just sprinkle them into the comments section to keep things awesome!

I'll kick off with a quote about my (not) favorite tennis player Amelie Mauresmo and please feel free to add your own soul stealing diatribes.

"She had an Adam's apple as big as her balls and her hands were the size of Andre the Giants."

Its about to get grazy for this blogger!

"And remember, you can't get a butthole pregnant"
-Crandall Lea

And yes that is a beautiful matress stain. BYAAaaaaaaAAAAH!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

FFM2M's First Ever Confirmed Kills Day!

Well folks today is the day for the first ever FFM2M sanctioned "Confirmed Kills" Day!

Huh? What's confirmed kills? Why should you care?

Well to start it confirmed kills, also known as scalps, is a term derived from the military's method of describing known enemies who meet their demise at a given soldier's hands.

So does that mean I'll be out there killing people and pulling off scalps to prove how big my stones are? Quick answer is no. Long answer is Mike Felder is too terrified of prison and the intense poking that goes on there to even remotely consider acting on my vengeful instincts.

No folks confirmed kills, in lay person terms, are the anti-wounded soldiers from last night's party. They're the beers that you know you and only you drank. That's right, its like a baseline test for fun happy times.

Generally I host confirmed kills days alone but the idea was so appealing to others that I've decided to open the forum and not only have two others join me for the debauchery but also host a live blog and comment roll to invite others into the awesomeness that is the arena of the beer sniper.

There will be pictures, there will be posts and there will be tweets.

There Will Be Blood (maybe).

Tune in folks, it will be an epic day in internet history, like the time I peed in the bed or the first time I went to Clemson.

Photo cred to twentysomewhat

Friday's Freaking Smackdown!

Well folks starting today I've decided on making Fridays a little more enjoyable. That means kicking off a Friday Slugfest for you all to launch salvos at while you're doing nothing at work or, as many of our most loyal readers are doing, smoking pot on your couch.

Reading this made me immediately reread the area code to make sure it wasn't a 910 for LB friend of the site.

"(206): A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings"

And it touched off a battle that should spark some interest. Going off the sports path as I so readily do and soliciting comments, which I want so badly; here is today's comment fodder (if any of you assclowns can even read this far):

FMyLife vs TFLN

That's right folks today for the fantabulous friday comment debate we will have a which is better battle royale. Be ready to defend your submission.

Have no clue what FML or TFLN is?

First of all kill yourself because:
1) you're obviously out of my demographic and
2) you're a bigger loser than a Lions fan born and raised a crappy town like Flint.

FML aka "Fuck My Life"
http://www.fmylife.com/

Another solid UK import like The Office or Elizabeth Hurley this site spread like wildfire in recent years and has blown up. Folks send in crap that happened to them and other users comment (read denegrate). Here's a classic example:

"Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML"

Now while formidable TFLN has taken the web by storm in the last 9 months. Its all-american, like apple pie or Molly Sims (if she's from America?).

TFLN aka Texts From Last Night
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Just simply put the messages you get late night from your idiotic, drunk or both friends. Very easy to explain:

(407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

Note the spelling error, classic blackberry texting error. I say blackberry because if this kid has an iPhone or some other phone QWERTY phone besides a blackberry I would lose all respect for him (don't worry blackberry vs iPhone will be coming soon).

Do your worst folks!


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry