Friday, August 28, 2009

Poetically Speaking

This is a brand new segment to kick off the season. Yes, I know I've allowed the blog to go stagnant during the Sahara that is the summertime. Yes, I know that Seinfeld of the day, ACC through Occam's Razor and other features were badass.

Anyways, with just 6 days left I decided to restart so that I don't fall prey to that brutal disease known as mid-season burn out.

There will be no preseason previews, I figured if you idiots are looking to me as your lone source for ACC information you're, and I mean this respectfully, a slack jawed mouth breather. There's plenty of magazines, school ran sites and blogs that give you a "preview" even though every synopsis is relatively similar in its flacid, mundane approach:

They lose this, they gain this, so and so must step up and coach is 1)On the hot seat or 2)Finally ready to blossom.

So without further ado I will bang out this newest update, Poetically Speaking. In this 1st edition we'll do:

THE ACC in LIMMERICKS!

If you don't know what a limmerick is then you're either in preschool or you don't deserve to have ever graduated from any reputable elementary school. Moron!

Boston College

They've played in 3 straight ACC title games
But in 4 seasons 3 coaches did change
With Herzlich out
All the fuss is about
Which unproven quarterback will be the least lame

Clemson

This team makes me think of a Fanta
The Orange and Grape got pounded in Atlanta
Now Tommy is out
Because of the rout
And Dabo must take the Tigers to Tampa

Duke

Cutcliffe's Devils got off to a hot start
But around week five they just fell apart
An increase in team speed
Is Duke's dire need
Because the players are already smart

Florida State

Bobby Bowden's still right in the mix
Christian Ponder must avoid throwing picks
The O-Line is buff
If the defense plays tough
They'll see better days than Sexton, X-Lee and Chris Rix

Georgia Tech

Paul Johnson's flexbone strikes fear
He adds Allen to Jones and Dwyer this year
Replace 3 on the D-Line
But the O will be fine
That Johnson's a hell of an option engineer

Maryland

Slim Fridge's Terps have 2 nice running backs
Low expectations may help them sneak up on the pack
But with no receiving threat
Well at least no one yet
Chris Turner may be in for quite a few sacks

Miami

Miami's slowly closing the gap
Fans thought OC Nix was a hack
The Canes'll take lumps
Before the win total jumps
But Shannon is slowly bringing the U back

North Carolina

There's a boy named Butch from Ar-Kansas
His most talented recruits still in feetie pajamas
He's got speedy 'backers
Could use a few qb sackers
To make the Heels 09 season bananas

NC State

Nate Irving is out for the year
But defenders have Russell Wilson to fear
If he can avoid big hits
Doesn't throw picks
The 10 wins will make Raleigh cheer

Virginia

Al Groh is back on the hot seat
It seems like the headline's a repeat
Sewell and Hall will factors
Can they replace their linebackers
For the 'Hoos a bowl game is a treat

Virginia Tech

The Hokies are the true cream of the crop
Beamer didn't blink when Evans' ACL went pop
He said we got a stable
Our defense is able
VPI still expects to be on the top

Wake Forest

The Deacs have a seasoned o-line
They will give Riley Skinner plenty of time
The offense seems ready
But is the defense still steady
Or was the NFL Draft the start of the decline

Its not Shakespeare but I know I'm damn good. Let's play some footbaaaaallllllll!

Photo HT:http://outsports.com/jocktalkblog/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/hokies1.jpg

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