Friday, October 2, 2009

Drop Your Panties; Daddy's Buying A New House!

That's right folks. Just got the email not two minutes ago from Rams Club and I think I just peed myself. The "New Kenan" has just been green lit which means we'll be breaking ground as the Heels practice for their bowl game.

Its going to bowl in the stadium with more luxury boxes, more seating and an athlete center that will get the Heels ready for big boy football.

Get scared ACC. We're gonna make it fit.


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Jacory Harris: My Hero

Folks this is without a doubt the most awesomest, badass, ballerific and stuntastic hair cut of all time.

Not only is Jacory Harris aerodynamic, he can now rep Da UUUuuUuUuUuuUUU whenever he peaces out on defenders.

The kid has to have a big game tomorrow night and with the power of Da UuUUuuUuUuuUUU in the back of his head the survey says he will.

Weekly Previews and Game of the Week coming out soon.

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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Jekyll and Hyde

Seriously ACC, you slay me. What with your wild ways and your Hurky Jerky decisions to be awful, terrible, crappy and oh so fantastic all at the same time.

Case and point; the Canes. A team that looked so offensively fantastic Jacory Harris was getting Heisman slobbed and Mark Whipple was crowned in the Dennis Green since of the word. They got abused by the Hokie Hi-ness this Saturday, a smack down so thoroughly layethed down that Miami dropped eleven sports from #9.

Or take their competition the Hokies who have Beamer Balled their way to #11 after a dismantling by Nick Saban's "Spartan-esque" Tide. Tyrod Taylor looked about as potent as a one balled man with a visectomy. Then this week the Hokies and Predator freshman Ryan Williams exploded to drop 31 on the Canes. They're back in the top 10 at #6 and appear to be fully back in the national title hunt. Alabama-VT rematch anyone?

Perhaps the best exhibit C is the North Carolina Tar Heel team. A unit that gave up 52 yards per game through its first three contests before bending over and taking it for 320+ yards. Bruce Carter is still on the milk carton while Gomer Pile aka Mark Whipple still stumbles through the playbook for 3 quarters before realizing the "hurry up" and quick passing game make Yates infinitely more effective.

This just in: when the offensive line is inexperienced and under manned they cannot block 5 and 7 step play action drops.

As my last exhibit of ACC futility matched only by sudden fertility we look at Florida State. A team so two faced they make Harvey Dent jealous. Yes that's a Batman reference and no not from the "Dark Knight" its from the animated series fool.

The Noles looked like they were well on their way to becoming the "Crimi-Noles" of old after shooting fireworks in the Miami loss and exploding for 54 against top 10 BYU. Then against USF, they got mollywopped yet again. No need to pile on as Bobby Bowden made the worst gaffe I've heard from a coach this season:

"They really were a whole lot better than we thought they were."

Seriously?

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