Saturday, May 30, 2009

Just So you Know

Even though today is a work Saturday (real work, not the most awesome blog in America work) I've still managed to sneak in some gourmet living.

Housekeeping (you want fluff pillow?):

Seinfeld Girlfriend of the Day is a business day feature. Stop emailing asking for more.

The ACC Player You Oughta Know will be revisited Sunday with tidbits on Willie Young (NCSU), Sergio Render (VT) and Kyle Parker as the countdown continues. Sorry Barry Humphries we already know and envy you and your motorcycle (meaning scooter) DUI escapades.

Felder Chronicles update will include me possibly have a very minute shot at perhaps visiting Baton Rouge just for the fun of it and a Bayou Bengals Game.

Keep it real, keep it spicy and stay gourmet.

(I wanted to call this Hot Sauce Saturday but then I'd have to do a real entry...Not gonna happen)

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Sexy Weekend Has Begun (Began?...Started!)

Its the weekend. Gourmet living and highlife for everyone.
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Friday, May 29, 2009

Some Not So Good News For Mr. "Not So Fast My Friend"

But its not quite Duke Vitale throat surgery 3 months of silence devastating news. Yesterday Lee Corso suffered a slight stroke according to ESPN.com.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=4213090&campaign=rss&source=NCFHeadlines

The clown prince of college football has been taken down by that nasty mistress of age and neurological defects. The good news is the Sunshine Scooter will be on the set wearing a Hokie Head come September 5th.

The bad news is that he'll probably pick the Tide to Roll for their second straight season opening win in the ATL Shawty! Damn elephant head with the trunk just dangling.

Either way it'll be good to see Mr. Ch-ch-ch-ch making awful predictions, inciting riots, making Kirk Herbstreit look even hotter and giving us the low down on what it was like to coach when they wore leather helmets.

Yo!

Picture from http://sixmeatbuffet.com

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Today's Seinfeld Girlfriend

Yesterday we hit you with our inaugural Seinfeld honey, the lovely Dolores. Today, by request we bring you Carrie.



What's that you say?



You don't remember Carrie?



Of course you do because everyone has a Carrie in their circle. You know that friend whose facebook photos you scroll through and it looks like 1,700 pics of one endless party. The friend who goes from tan to pale, short to long hair and appears to be in the mountains and Cabo all on the same day. In other words Carrie is:



The girl who only wore one dress.



As another of Jerry's conquests Carrie looked simply stunning the first time Jerry saw her and equally great each time thereafter. One problem, nobody told her that the luster has worn off from the cocktail dress when you rock said dress 3 dates in a row.



Its tough to say,"Damn you look hot tonight" or "Girl, I'd drink your bath water" after she's worn the dress to every function you see her at.



Her real name's Shannon Holt and while she donned the same dress multiple times on Seinfeld she's had a string of one and done episode appearances on numerous television shows. Hits like "ER", "The Unit" and my personal favorite "Grace Under Fire," Now I know what you're thinking how badass can she be with the obligatory bit part on "Law and Order?"



Badass enough to have a semi-regular character on "That 70's Show" and "The Suite Life at Sea." By semi-regular of course I mean two episodes. And to think without Seinfeld "The Seven" episode I'd have never discovered this gem.



Here's to you Shannon Holt, Carrie or as "The Lady Who Only Wears One Dress" as we more affectionately know her. Perhaps we've coined a new term to add to the lexicon; a Carrie.



By the way "The Football From Mass to Miami" Lexicon will be making its debut soon.



Photo found at www.circustheatricals.com



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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Barry Humphries Suspension Proves Dabo Is Cleaning Up The Streets...

That's right folks Clemson's Humphries has been suspended for the first two games of the season after his May 2nd arrest for drunk driving on a scooter at nearly 5 am.

http://www.independentmail.com/news/2009/may/27/barry-humphries-suspended-first-two-games-2009/

As Dabo cleans up the rabid streets of Clemson we pause to remember that scooters are vehicles too and thanks to Georgia, Clemson and a few other football programs "scooters aren't just for cheap, hipster, eurotrash metrosexuals anymore."

Perhaps the next Tiger suspension will be for something like excessive popped collars, over consumption of apple martinis or who knows maybe even asphyxiation by skinny jeans.


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Goodman Situation Information

By way of the Tallahasee Democrat we've got some new information regarding the nature of the aforementioned WWE chair slamming. The woman suffered some pretty brutal Anquan Boldin-esque injuries including an orbital lobe fracture, cheekbone fracture and multiple nose fractures. Not to make light of her situation but wow Goodman must be serious in the weight room if he's heaving chairs like He-Man.

http://nolesports.tallahassee.com/article/20090528/FSU03/90528002/1002/SPORTS/FSU+s+Goodman+suspended+after+arrest


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An ACC Player You Oughta Know...

Folks for the next 98 days we'll introduce you to an ACC Player that you should know heading into the 2009 season. That's right we're going to pump them out from now until the season starts just to keep you current on who's who in the ACC.



We'll kick it off with FFM2M's personal favorite Ryan Taylor of the Tar Heels. Now personal favorite doesn't mean a Madden-Favre mancrush situation its more of an older brother and little brother who somehow got more talent (plus a white family and a full scholarship) situation.



On a serious note the rising senior is a special teams dynamo for the Heels. While he's been shuttled between tight end, linebacker and halfback the Tar Heels' special teams captain has been a stalwart in the third facet of the game for the past three seasons.



Entering 2009 Taylor has found a home at the halfback spot and should give the Heels quality minutes opening holes for Shaun Draughn and company and who knows perhaps catching a pass or two out of the backfield.



As long as Taylor keeps his head on a swivel and avoids instances like the Miami Brutality he should be set to have a solid senior season.





Photo from http://grfx.cstv.com/photos/schools/unc/sports/m-footbl/auto_action/2592627.jpeg



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Today's Seinfeld Girlfriend

Sure plenty of other sports blogs may post pictures of random hot women, well we here at FFM2M consider ourselves a little more television driven. And by television driven we mean sitcom psychopaths. And by sitcom psychopaths we mean Seinfeld sickos.



With another forum for broadcasting the Seinfeld love we decided to do one better than just a delectable selection of hot women for the gourmet sports buffet diner to enjoy. We will attempt to bring you a new Seinfeld love interest on a daily basis.



We open with the lovely Susan Walters better known to us as Bovary or perhaps Mulva if you're nasty. Actually her name was Dolores but no one remembers that. She's a southern belle from the ATL who apparently has been on more than just Seinfeld, who knew? Some show The Young and The Restless - Never heard of it but apparently its been on for awhile.



Hats off to this, our inaugural testament to Jerry's awesome ability to date any woman he pleased.



How could we forget Dolores and the body part she rhymes with?



Oh yeah because generally we try to forget that body part exists. Its a lot easier to finish without worrying about stimulating her "Dolores"



Image from imdb



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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

FSU Player Gets The "Indefinite Suspension" Label

Richard Goodman, one of the 'Noles receivers involved in THE 2008 frat-football brawl, was officially suspended by Bobby Bowden today. Apparently the senior wide out was responsible for WWE-ing the face of a female bystander.

http://blogs.orlandosentinel.com/sports_college_fsu/2009/05/fsu-suspends-goodman.html

Throwing a chair and blasting a girls face was enough to get Goodman charged with aggravated battery; a second degree felony. Another healthy blow to the FSU receiving core.

Is it possible the 'Noles are closer to a top ten finish than we suspect? After all with the suspensions, the academic fraud and Student Union Brawl these new 'Noles aren't too far off from the Crimi-Noles of the 90's.


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Interesting Lunch Time Links from ESPN

Generally the ACC Lunch Time Links are relatively mundane. However the Phil Steele explosion has intrigued me enough to warrrant posting the ACC's links from ESPN.

Check out the reasons Penn State is more confident than Bobby And FSU about their suspension.

http://myespn.go.com/blogs/acc/0-6-111/ACC-lunchtime-links.html

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Coaches Poll Covert-Ops?

According to USA Today and the Sporting News the final results of the Coaches Poll will be secret in 2010. This means no more exposing coaches for biased voting, protecting conference ties or voting for friends.

No now, just like the faceless AP Poll the Coaches won't be held accountable for what they screw up. This doesn't bother me because of the BCS but rather because of teams out of the BCS Leagues short changing the system. Expect the SEC, Big XII etcetera to stick together while guys out of the ACC, Big 10 and Pac-10 get slighted due to their lack of highly ranked in conference opponents. We shall see.

http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=553494


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The Chronicles of FELDER

This week in the inaugural edition of "The Chronicles of FELDER" we'll introduce the newest blogging feature and talk about the news out of Felder-land for the coming week.



First and foremost you can tune in to The Gulf Coast Sports Radio Hour at 4pm by heading to:



http://kkay1590.com


I'll be breaking down Kentucky and Duke with the host Brian Scott as well as talking a little ACC-SEC big picture. Perhaps a little College Baseball? Get excited baby the Heels will try to make another College World Series trip, only this time coming home with the hardware.


Later tonight we do the Football From Mass to Miami sister show Game Time Sports. Keep in mind that Game Time Sports is less a sterling big sister filled with amazing information and more a psycho little sister with a great body but an attitude like a babymama from Compton. In other words crass yet hilarious.



We will add the Game Time Sports widget to the blog just to appease you FFM2M knuckleheads thirsty for some intelligent sports discourse.



On the original writing content be sure to check out the posts starting to pour out at a rapid pace. Every week we'll have the ACC Bottom to the Top breakdown as well some articles breaking down schedules, players and the ACC progress.



Get ready, The Chronicles of Felder are going to be always available always gourmet and always informative to keep you abreast of my most recent activities.



ItsFELDER



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Wet, Wild Wednesday Yessir!

Hey folks

In the new mobile age we can update from work which is much better than actually doing any work. I've just recently purchased a couple college football previews so my bathroom trips last hours not minutes.

On a serious note Mark Herzlich; the BC linebacker and reigning ACC defensive player of the year, has started chemotherapy at home in Pennsylvania. He's undergoing 8 weeks of chemo to kill the cancer in the tumor before surgery to extract the mass. On a good note the cancer is localized and contained so keep your fingers crossed about the next few months going well for Herzlich.

Now less than seriously the SEC continues its strangle hold on bad behavior as another South Carolina player gets arrested.

http://www.midlandsconnect.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=304805

Shocker, yeah right. As for getting wet and wild this Wednesday you can hear two radio appearances from your's truly and we're getting ready to add the Game Time Sports show to the blog.

ItsFELDER

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Just A Hint Of Why Gourmet Is Back In Style

When we're not conducting football styled info sessions, reading unlimited blogs or browsing local papers and police blotters we like to have a little fun.

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The ACC, From The Bottom To The Top Part 1

Tune into the Gulf Coast Sports Radio Hour Wednesday at four to hear Brian Scott and Michael Felder delve deeper into Kentucky, Duke and the SEC/ACC picture.

Biggest Offseason Loss

The Blue Devil’s biggest losses come in the departure of wide receiver Eron Riley. Riley was quarterback Thaddeus Lewis’ favorite target; having accounted for 693 of Lewis’ 2171 yards and 8 of his 15 touchdowns. Riley was a sure handed, speedy target capable of getting open down field and making the big play for the Devils.

Losing Michael Tauiliili; the middle linebacker who led the ACC and finished third in the nation in tackles should also be noted. However, his loss will not be felt as significantly as Riley’s due to the Devils returning solid contributors from last season’s defense.

Best Returning Players

In Durham this question gets a simple answer; Thaddeus Lewis. Lewis is the best pure pocket passer in the ACC and with the exception of the big names at the position the senior would be an upgrade for most schools.

He is, in effect, the anti-Graham Harrell; no gaudy or inflated statistics but a legitimate pro-styled quarterback who has received great tutelage under Cutcliffe and will have a legitimate shot at the next level.

Break Out Player

Donovan Varner will be tasked with filling Eron Riley’s shoes. The 5’9” sophomore out of Miami, Floridais the best athlete on Cutcliffe’s team and after playing corner, return man and a little receiver in 2008 Varner will use his talents on offense and in the return game exclusively.

As a full time receiver Varner has already flourished, catching six balls for 116 yards in the spring game last month. He gives Thaddeus Lewis a weapon capable of breaking the big run and a dangerous asset for Cutcliffe’s offensive mind to utilize.

Three Crucial Games

Duke @ Kansas, Duke @ NC State, Duke vs Wake Forest

The Devils will have a shot at winning all of these games and to achieve Cutcliffe’s goal of a bowl appearance they will likely have to win all three. Heading to Lawrence will give the Blue Devils their first quality test of the season against a likely top 25 team. NC State, Wake Forest and a November date in Chapel Hill should all help Cut’s in-state recruiting goals if they can find a win.

Dream vs Nightmare Season

For the Blue Devils their dream season is an 8-4 masterpiece by Cutcliffe. Getting the Devils to their first bowl game since Spurrier and putting them squarely in the thick of the ACC Coastal race. Loses to VT, NC State, UNC, GT and Miami appear to be inevitable however, stealing a win from one of those schools while completing their soft non-conference schedule while beating UVA, Wake and Maryland would land the Devils in a heavenly scenario.

On the flipside of the dream scenario is the Blue Devil nightmare. Losing all league games plus contests with FCS Richmond and Kansas would truly set the Blue Devils back into the “loser” stratosphere they’ve inhabited since the departure of Spurrier.

Gorgeous is the new "She-Yot Biatch"

Folks in the age of blackberries and iPhones (the lamest phone strictly for hippies and poseurs) we've taken this show on the road.

While I'll still be uploading stories from my classic thinkpad there will be plenty of posts coming by the way of my sweet BB curve. There's plenty of great ACC news to breakout and this will let me stay on top like that freshman couple who starts dating during week of welcome and never separates.

Speaking of couples joined at the hip the lovely pseudo-Mrs has moved to Charlotte and in the wake of world's colliding I have been thrown for a loop. Spending Tuesday to re-evaluate my lifestyle has left me with only one conclusion, my blogging must increase to offset my power surge of non-ceremonial alcohol consumption.

Stay tuned for some solid blogging and remember to always make way for ducklings.

ItsFelDER
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We've just gone mobile with the blog and we'll be bringing, to quote EDSBS, "spicy" updates on a daily basis. It should be a gorgeous affair.