Seinfeld Girlfriend of the Day

Is it a little late?

Yeah. But that's alright, that's ok, I've got some good ones lined up and I've semi-worked my schedule out to allow for hilarity to ensue.

With that said without further ado here's the info on this Eastern European hottie. Although she goes by Elina Löwensohn in public we know her as Katya the Romanian gymnast.

Everyone has been there with a girl; we call it limboland. Its all good, except for Jerry sees what a gymnast body can do and makes the 90's mistake of sleeping with her.

Why is that a 90's mistake you say?

Yes because strangely, in the 90's if you slept with a woman you had to keep seeing her, three week minimum. Who freaking knew? If this was the 2000's he'd have given her the business and then just ignored her texts, calls and emails starting the next day.

Which brings us to, quite possibly, the most disparaging quote about Jerry of all time:

"In my country, they speak of a man so virile, so potent, that to spend a night with such a man is to enter a world of such sensual delights most women dare not dream of. This man is known as the 'Comedian.' You may tell jokes, Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, but you are no Comedian." -Katya

You bite your tongue Katya. That's blasphemy; especially when Jerry said you just laid there in bed like a wet towel while he was sweating his ass off pumping and thrusting. He didn't say that exactly but that's how Imagine Seinfeld having sex; he's a hard worker probably.

As for Löwensohn, she's been busy since this episode and the injury to her friend Misha. Done a lot of film, most of which I can't pronounce the titles so I assume they are foreign or Lifetime movies about one of the channels 4 genres (teen pregnancy, spousal abuse, adultery by men or unsatisfied woman wanting a fantasy) either way its all Greek to me.

One more tidbit, she was in "Schindler's List." The same Holocaust movie that Jerry was caught making out in like a middle schooler at Titanic. In other words Jerry was caught making out with a girl in a movie featuring one of his former conquests.

Photo from http://abadeo.com/pageboy/Elina_Lowensohn.jpg


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Today's Seinfeld Girlfriend

Yesterday we hit you with our inaugural Seinfeld honey, the lovely Dolores. Today, by request we bring you Carrie.



What's that you say?



You don't remember Carrie?



Of course you do because everyone has a Carrie in their circle. You know that friend whose facebook photos you scroll through and it looks like 1,700 pics of one endless party. The friend who goes from tan to pale, short to long hair and appears to be in the mountains and Cabo all on the same day. In other words Carrie is:



The girl who only wore one dress.



As another of Jerry's conquests Carrie looked simply stunning the first time Jerry saw her and equally great each time thereafter. One problem, nobody told her that the luster has worn off from the cocktail dress when you rock said dress 3 dates in a row.



Its tough to say,"Damn you look hot tonight" or "Girl, I'd drink your bath water" after she's worn the dress to every function you see her at.



Her real name's Shannon Holt and while she donned the same dress multiple times on Seinfeld she's had a string of one and done episode appearances on numerous television shows. Hits like "ER", "The Unit" and my personal favorite "Grace Under Fire," Now I know what you're thinking how badass can she be with the obligatory bit part on "Law and Order?"



Badass enough to have a semi-regular character on "That 70's Show" and "The Suite Life at Sea." By semi-regular of course I mean two episodes. And to think without Seinfeld "The Seven" episode I'd have never discovered this gem.



Here's to you Shannon Holt, Carrie or as "The Lady Who Only Wears One Dress" as we more affectionately know her. Perhaps we've coined a new term to add to the lexicon; a Carrie.



By the way "The Football From Mass to Miami" Lexicon will be making its debut soon.



Photo found at www.circustheatricals.com



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Today's Seinfeld Girlfriend

Sure plenty of other sports blogs may post pictures of random hot women, well we here at FFM2M consider ourselves a little more television driven. And by television driven we mean sitcom psychopaths. And by sitcom psychopaths we mean Seinfeld sickos.



With another forum for broadcasting the Seinfeld love we decided to do one better than just a delectable selection of hot women for the gourmet sports buffet diner to enjoy. We will attempt to bring you a new Seinfeld love interest on a daily basis.



We open with the lovely Susan Walters better known to us as Bovary or perhaps Mulva if you're nasty. Actually her name was Dolores but no one remembers that. She's a southern belle from the ATL who apparently has been on more than just Seinfeld, who knew? Some show The Young and The Restless - Never heard of it but apparently its been on for awhile.



Hats off to this, our inaugural testament to Jerry's awesome ability to date any woman he pleased.



How could we forget Dolores and the body part she rhymes with?



Oh yeah because generally we try to forget that body part exists. Its a lot easier to finish without worrying about stimulating her "Dolores"



Image from imdb



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